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How to help your kids through your divorce

by | Jun 21, 2021 | Divorce |

Resolving a divorce with your spouse is rarely a simple task. Asset separation, child support and custody, and alimony can all be extremely contentious and heated areas of debate. While you already have a lot on your plate in this divorce, it is important to remember that your children are also struggling with things.

It can be easy to overlook what your kids are experiencing in a divorce when you are trying to secure the best possible outcome for them and yourself. Still, it is important to look after them, especially during these times. When the consequences of a divorce can be long-lasting, here are some tips you can follow to protect your children during your divorce:

Do not use your children in your divorce

When your kids go from staying with you to spending time with their other parent, it can be tempting to have them send messages or try to gather information about your ex-spouse. Avoid these actions, as they can make your child feel guilty for answering or not answering your questions.

Avoid badmouthing the other parent

No matter how you may feel about your ex-spouse, your children may have different feelings. Children often see themselves as one-half of each of the parents, which is how an insult toward one of them becomes an insult about themselves.

Promote co-parenting

Even when tensions are high between ex-spouses, it is important to put your children’s needs first. Take the effort to attend the same sporting events, performances, and other events your kids are in at the same time as your ex. If your kids feel like your disdain toward your ex overshadows how you feel about them, it can cause major issues later on.

Enforce parental decisions

If your ex-spouse grounds your children at their place, be sure to enforce the punishment at yours. Turning your space into a “fun zone” teaches your kids to disobey their parents and find ways to break the rules.

Keep the children’s needs first

Whether you are negotiating a child custody agreement or you are trying to set up a visitation schedule, remember that these decisions also impact your children. By keeping their interests as the main priority, you can help ensure that they still have a stable environment to grow up in.