A separated or divorced couple who have a child together is difficult. While they both want what is best for their child, it can be hard to provide that if there is a lot of tension between the parents. In order to help combat the lasting consequences of divorce in children, it can be beneficial to follow a few tips on how to promote better co-parenting. Here are a few suggestions that can benefit any parent who is looking to raise their child with their ex-spouse:
Do not involve your kids in your divorce
It may seem like the easier option to have our kids relay messages to your ex or to have them report your ex’s actions, but doing so can do more harm than good. When parents put their kids in this kind of situation, the kids can feel guilty about their involvement or resent their parents for involving them.
Do not insult the other parent in front of your kids
Children often see themselves as one-half of each of their parents. When they hear bad things about one of their parents, they may take those insults personally, which can affect their self-esteem. Insulting the other parent can also make your kids develop negative feelings toward you and cause irreparable damage to your relationship.
Do not avoid your ex
Even if one or both parents would prefer not to be in the same room anymore, it may become necessary for the sake of their kids. Graduation ceremonies, sporting events, performances and other events in their life are memorable events that can become tarnished when one parent refuses to attend if the other does. Refusing to go can also cause the kids to lose respect for them as well.
Put your kids first
When raising your children with an ex, it is important to remember that your preferences come second to their needs. If possible, work with the other parent to develop a plan that can help you both become better co-parents and provide your children with the love and support they deserve.